seriously?

I just checked on Owen, fussing in his bed. Craig got him ready tonight (plus) but Owen's onesie is on BACKWARDS. Seriously? backwards? There is a tag ticking him on the throat. How hard is this?

ah, nostaglia

PMS. I forgot what it's like. Apparently, it involves werewolf-like personality changes and a lot of chocolate. After almost 2 years, this is hitting me like a mac truck.

I can't wait to get pregnant again.

reason number 783 not to be vegan

bacon.

even if I go full-bore vegetarian, I will never count bacon as a meat.

it is a fat unit, but not a meat unit. I learned that during pregnancy, as in "Bacon and avocado do not count as protien and vegetable. They just count as fat."

totally worth it.

reason number 782 not to be vegan

Grilled havarti and granny apple sandwiches made with very thin sandwich bread.

Forgive me, Owen for eating mine and half of yours off your tray.

You were just going to feed it to Junie, anyway.

email to kimberlina

This is how lazy I am: I am going to post a copy of an email to kim, b/c I am too lazy to repeat my afternoon. But the advantage is, maybe it will motivate me to take pictures tomorrow and post them, so there will be more details added to an already rambling email. Yay for blogging!


Email to kim starts here:

PLUS: I received the baby lotion- thank you so much! Owen and I are up to at least 2 baths a day now, so we are both enjoying it. We have been gardening together- seriously. It's like the cutest fucking thing in the world. So fucking cute i will have to tell you the whole story. You might want to grab some coffee.


Ok- do you have your coffee? good.

I moved a bunch of my canna lillies from the front door to the fence, in between the jasmine that we planted. (btw: super easy to grow/transplant/separate canna lillies. once they are established again/ you move into a house i will send you oodles.) We did this on saturday, while Owen stayed at my mom's for 24 hours. If I could all caps "24" I would.) So today, i decided to cover the transplanted flowers with landscaping fabric and mulch, b/c they looked like they were dying. as this is officially the first time i have EVER done yard work, I am hoping that they do NOT die. Owen played in the box that his super awesome play castle came in ( and tried to drink from the turned off sprinker, and tried to walk through the new plantings) while I did the landscape fabric ( not as cute in description as was in real life), and then we moved mulch in buckets to the fence. like, 20 trips. This process made us very thirsty, which led to a drinking from a cup incident. Thank god we were already hot- he still needs quite a bit of practice. I am also afraid that he now thinks the point of his (rather expensive) mulch playground-pit is to move the contents around the yard in buckets. hopefully, that part did not stick. After about 45 minutes of this, he turns around, walks across the yard to the back door, waits for me to open it, goes inside, grabs a nuk off the floor and little bear, and heads off to his bedroom for a nap.
wtf? my kid puts himself down for a nap? I must have been ghandi in a past life. I do not deserve this. unfortuneately, he was COVERED in dirt, so I had to actually bathe him before a nap, but it was still great. I love being his mom. He's like a sit-com baby (today, at least.)

If gardening makes babies this tired, maybe you could get moms to pay YOU to let their toddlers work on the compound. It could be profitable.....as long as they don't eat all the mulch. sad but true- babies will eat mulch if you let them.

blah blah blah- I have had an adult conversation deficit today.

Happy Wednesday (if you read this tomorrow at work!)

I am off to
a) put laundry away
b) unload the dishwasher
c) watch the Extras finale
d) eat bon bons
e) copy this to my blog, b/c I am a lazy mo-fo.

ciao!

Mimsie Friday, take 3

Owen is officially celebrating Mimsie Friday for the third time-- all night! Craig and I have big plans: dinner at a new Italian restaurant in Thornebrooke, breakfast at a new place tomorrow morning... I do not see the point in doing dishes when we can enjoy being "single" again. My mother is the best.

melancholia

I was commenting on mighty girl's 100 things worth doing entry (http://mightygirl.com/2008/03/18/100-things-worth-doing/) and I got weepy (inexplicably) about my plum tomato baby. After seeing my beautiful baby Owen, I understand why miscarriages happen- it must be nearly impossible to produce a healthy all put-together-correctly baby, especially on the first try. But my plum tomato baby will always be a part of my life, even though I think I thought I was over it- her? I always think of it as a her. I will never be able to truly bond with a baby in utero, which made me feel VERY guilty when I was pregnant with Owen. The guilt evaporated the moment we locked eyes for the first time, so I feel okay with that. Actually, he is the first baby I didn't try to bond with, and he is the first that stuck. So there you go. Maybe my babies just need personal space.
When I was pregnant with Owen, I waited over a week to tell my mother, 12 weeks to tell most people, and some people I never told at all. (Which incidentally led to a friend visiting unexpectedly when Owen was 2 weeks old- one of the best memories I have of those early, fuzzy sore post-partum days). To be honest, I hate people who announce pregnancies before 12 weeks, because I am so jealous of their smug joy in a baby, in a pregnancy that they are sure will last. I also hate my neighbor, who said "That's awfully early to be announcing it" with plum tomato, when Craig told her at 10 weeks. I started miscarrying that afternoon. I am convinced she is an out of work witch who stalks us, as she sits, typing endlessly on her computer as she stares out the window in her sandels from 1992, yellow toenails needing a trim.
So here is my public apology to plum tomato: I am sorry I took Motrin, possibly contributing to your demise. I am sorry you were flushed down the toilet. I am not sorry that I did not rescue you, so they could take you apart at the hospital. I think of you every day, sweet tomato.

cozy

Today is such a cozy, crafty day. The kind of day for which I am grateful to be staying at home with Owen. He is napping, and I am debating which pleasurable crafting activity to partake in.

Options:
1. My new knitted headwarmer (http://knitty.com/ISSUEwinter06/PATTcalorimetry.html). I have the perfect yarn for it, and so far it seems to be going well... except that it seems inordinately long. I am hoping that it will work out, because I did not (as usual) knit a gauge swatch. We'll see. I am either knitting it for myself or Virginia. The yarn I have is perfect for this pattern, but I am not sure that it will look good on me. On the other hand, it is probably way too dorky to wear in a trendy urban environment, such as Connecticut, New York or London. (But I think the colors will suit her...)

2. The lottery block for the March guild meeting. I have chosen the "Crossing Ohio" pattern, in orange and blue, because of course I have excellent school spirit. Plus, in Gainesville, either you can use an orange and blue quilt or you know someone who would love one. I don't see how you can't win with this one!

3. Valentines. I picked up Owen's pictures yesterday, which means it is time, yet again, to cut and label an ungodly number of photos for distribution. I think this is the last time I am going to order so many, now that I know I can email the proofs out to everybody.

Or I could unload the dishwasher, but that seems less exciting. It has stopped raining, but is still really overcast. And I an totally exhausted. I drank some "pick-me-up" cocoa this morning, rumored to have as much caffeine as a cup of coffee, but obviously not a cup of coffee as I make it.

EFFF. Junie just barked and woke up the baby. GRRRRRRRRRRRR. No crafty time now. Oops.

the 60,000 calorie weekend

Kim left this morning after a fantastic 2 GF (+ 2 boys) SS weekend. It was fantastic. (Did I mention that it was fantastic?) Except I am now feeling slight regret over the INSANE amount of calories consumed, 1/2 of which were from dinner at my mother's house last night (filet, lobster, plugras, italian wedding cake and a yard of reisling). I think another 1/4 of those calories were from alcohol. Very bad. Very very bad. But completely worth it. I think I am going to make a rule that calories consumed with long-distance girlfriends do not count. Yum... I keep getting flashbacks- asti, sea turtle white chocolate ice cream, 2nd street bakery brioche french toast (which practically caused me to orgasm in front of the waiter-oh my god. it was so very very good), pigs in a blanket, salmon pesto, stuffed tomatoes.


I will walk in the mall tomorrow.

Plus, I learned how to spray paint. We painted my dressing table-cabinet-thingy aqua. I think Craig lost 2 years off his life because we didn't ask his advice or do it in a planned, perfectionist way. We just did it. It feels so liberating. I want to antique it a little- maybe put a white glaze on it? I feel ready to take on anything. Pictures to follow, once I get it closer to finished.

whoo hoo!!!

My apologies. I have officially become Magda, the smug married from Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason.

If you are male, or considering having children, I do not recommend you keep reading. But if you are already a mom, go for it!

I had my annual with Jane today. I decided that I should just do it around my birthday, because then I will remember to renew my car registration at the same time. (Even though Craig does that for me, after he drove to Miami lastyear in a car with a tag that was two years expired. Oops.)

Anyway, good news and bad news:
-I am offically back down to my pre-pregnancy weight. I thought I was, but it's nice to have it on the medical chart.
- I only actually gained 32 pounds while I was pregnant. (I eventually got to the point where I just closed my eyes whenever I got on the scale).
- Jane says that not only can I choose to be induced again next time, but that she recommends it at 39 weeks. Yay! I will not be pregnant forever again! Nor will I have to deal with boring pre-labor. I could be in and out in under 3 hours. SWEET.
- (Okay, I am totally going to brag here): Jane told me that she talks about me all the time, because I dealt with labor so unusually well. I feel so smugly proud. I was obviously meant to have four children.
-She told me I can stay on Implanon forever if I want to. Awesome. I could never have my period again.... well mostly.

bad news:
- her Ph.D. is done in a year, so I think she will move onto teaching and not delivering babies anymore. I am considering getting pregnant again right away, and I'm not sure how I'm going to pull it off. How am I going to have a baby without her?????????
- I have to go to physical therapy. Ewww.
-I have cabbage stuffed in my (three) sports bra(s). I have tried everything else, and this is the only thing that is working to stop producing milk. It is the first time I have been remotely comfortable in 5 days. If only I didn't smell so...cabbagey.

coffee press lamentations

Today I am feeling defeated. This is probably the result of not drinking coffee until 10:45, but there you go. Laundry is covering my kitchen table, and let's face it, some of my living room furninture as well. I do not have a lime for the recipe that I was planning on making for dinner tonight. Owen has been incredibly fussy, and then had one of the most copious poopy diapers I have ever seen. After all this hard work, he happily went to bed, allowing me to make my coffee and moan electronically to the world.

Craig got up with Owen at 6:15, ran the dishwasher (even though I ran it last night... oops. I think I left the door unlatched, thus ruining our method of non-verbal-dishwasher-status communication), fed Owen breakfast, and I swear I heard the vacuum running. Where does he get the energy? Am I sure that I want four boys? Maybe I should get a better coffee maker than my french press.

Pros to the french press:
+ is tiny
+ does not take up counter space
+does not (directly) use electricity, but the electric tea kettle that I use to put hot water in the french press does.... this is a draw
+ makes me feel slightly urban and chic

Cons
- we both hate washing it (damn coffee grounds)
-it seems to require additional steps to coffee, which I can not perform unless I have already consumed said coffee
- we both REALLY hate washing it
- Since I am the only one who drinks coffee, I don't make enough to really compact the coffee grounds, which makes them difficult to throw away, so I just dump them down the drain and hope it won't clog our plumbing system. Fat chance
- It is rarely clean first thing in the morning
-have I mentioned that we really hate washing it?

I am a totally boring person.

correlation and causation

I was rereading some of my previous posts, not because I am entirely self-absorbed and find myself fascinating, but mainly because I am always amazed that I managed to post at all. I was mystified to see how much I talk about cleaning and reorganizing the house. Completely baffled. I can only conclude that:

a) I really do spend more of my time cleaning than I am aware of

or

b) I get really bored when I'm cleaning and take a very importnat break to update my blog.

It has to be the latter. If it isn't, my house should look a hell of a lot better than it currently does. I finally understand the psych 101 theory about causation and correlation not equating each other. Aha.

gerbil on crack

Okay- I admit that I am feeling a bit frenzied. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am switching Owen over to formula, so I can now consume unlimited quantities of caffeine. The problem is, after over a year and a half of not consuming caffeine except in very small quantities, my tolerance is low. Instead of being really drunk after one beer (also happening, but mostly at night), I get supercharged after a medium to largish cup of coffee. This has led to "cleaning: frenzies, which do not involve actual cleaning, but rather frantic rearranging, leading to a differently (note that I do not say "better" or "more efficiently") configured home environment. Actually, what this means is that while I am putting things away, I can not remember where I put them. So far, I have lost my ipod charging-docking cord thing. Happily, I have since found it with the trivets. Obviously.

I also stored the Christmas decorations in the hall closet, on a shelf that was amazingly underutilized. Apparently, because the shelf can not hold anything heavier than batting. This is incidentally very lucky for me, because I have an excess of batting in the quilting room with no place to live. Craig seems to think that I can replace the batting in my quilting room with Christmas decorations. Silly silly man. I may also place board games on that shelf (unless they are too heavy), thus removing them from their NEW home, on an open shelf under the television in the living room. Right at Owen's level. These were placed there by Craig while I was at book club. They do make the new TV shelf look very magazine worthy, but seriously. How much of a chocking hazard are board game pieces? Craig thinks Owen will not try to access them. I think Craig is from another planet.

I am looking forward to staying home tonight and setting up the cube-ee thing we bought at Target for our kitchen. (Ha! I write that as if we might actually usually "go out" and do something fun. What I meant by "stay in" is "not run errands".) I feel that it will help get the kitchen organized (ha) and baby-proofed (ha ha). At least we will be utilizing something we bought, which will also make Craig happy.

today

Dishes are piled up, waiting to be loaded into the not-yet-emptied dishwasher. Lunch fixings are scattered all over the house, both from me prepping actual food for Owen (vs. easy-lazy-mommy jar food) and then from me subsequently trying to snag questionably nutritious tidbits from the fridge while keeping Owen away from Lucy and Junie simultaneously. But why am I so happy? Because Owen is still sleeping- we are looking at an hour and a half nap, and counting!!!!

deep breath

1. Owen did not sleep through the night last night. More like, slept for an hour at a time.

2. He is clammy- sweating, but cool to the touch. freaks me out.

3. It seems like as soon as I try to do something productive (ie unload dishwasher, remove bathmat that junie peed on last night from guest bathroom, brush teeth) Owen wakes up and starts SCREAMING (not his typical attitude).

4. there he goes again

5. EFFFF

New Year's Resolution Update

I HAVE KEPT A NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION AND DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.

This is almost as good as Owen sleeping through the night.

180- Farts are Funny

So this is what happens when you don't post for almost a year. I am a mother. With a baby. (seemingly obvious connection, but surprisingly still a little bit shocking.) A mother whose baby is sleeping through the night- or at least, slept through last night. And I thought this day would never come.

The last thing I thought I would have time to do is blog, but as I must stay up till midnight to pump (until I can make other arrangements), I find I have lots of time on my hands, without the brainpower to do anything requiring great mental coordination.

Junie just farted. I have resigned myself to the fact that now two out of three people in my house will openly find farting funny for the rest of my life, and I give in. Sometimes, farts are funny. Ok, most of the time farts are funny. Especially chihuahua farts. (She was at the back door, ringing the bell to go out, so I will count that as an "excuse me".)

Is "fart" a socially acceptable word? What should Owen learn to call them? Why isn't there a better manual out there?

Craig has left for a business trip to Ft. Lauderdale, and I have the day off for Martin Luther King Jr. Day (also known as Robert E Lee Day in some parts of Interlachen). He'll be gone for two days, and that leaves me with a whole day to myself. I used to see these days as an open day for quilting, but lately I have become obsessed with cleaning and organizing the house. I've been trying so hard to stay calm during this period of flux, where i can't even find the kitchen table, but I will admit it has been very difficult. It never used to bother me if the house was messy, now, I'm completely OCD about it. I have been cleaning the crumb tray of the toaster oven, for god's sake. (Keep in mind, this is all relative- other clean freaks would probably still find my house gross).

I am anxious to find out the results of my second ultrasound on Thursday. We'll know for sure whether it is Owen or Bridget, and even though the 12 week ultrasound was pointing pretty conclusively to Owen, I'm almost at a last ditch push for a Bridget. This is all due to the ease of decorating for boy vs girl, of course. I have no control over anything else, so I am very focused on decorating, which I can decide.

What I am more anxious to see, though, is whether the baby is alive and well. I know it seems ridiculous, but I want to see that baby move. I was unclear as to whether I had felt the baby move or not, because so many of my internal organs are pushed all out of the way and squished up- everything feels like gas. There are moments, especially when I am just waking up, or have eaten and am sitting still, that I feel something that must be the baby. A little flip, or what feels like a single heart beat in my lower abdomen, or a tiny pop-thump. Craig was holding me in his arms while I was sleeping one morning, and he swears he felt a flutter. I believe him, and this assertion has been the only thing getting me through the past week. I also know, though, that the baby must be growing, because my ab muscles are stretching again, which means a grwoth spurt is on the way. My belly button is totally stretching out, too. Yesterday, there was a hard ridge at the top, where the skin was streched to what felt like a breaking point. I cocoa buttered the hell out of it, and today it is soft and flexible again, but I think a little shallower.

I have finished the back of the navy blue baby sweater that I'm making, and hope to start on the front tomorrow. Today, I want to finish bedding laundry, clean the guest room, make the beds, and get the house and my quilting room totally spic and span for this weekend- GFSS!!!!!!!

Hmmm

Well, was re-reading my last post, and noticed that I was bitching about my really bad cramps. I must remember that I no longer have really bad cramps. Those cramps were (is) a baby. A baby. A baby inside my (now moderately large) stomach. I was 20 weeks along on Friday, which means that I am now officially more than half way there. Yay!

Okay, enough catching up. Here's my life now.

New Years Resolution:
1. Keep up weekend cleaning routine. I've done all the laundry in the house and changed the sheets for two Saturdays in a row.

That's it. I figure having a baby will be enough to worry about in the coming year.

Craig and I are making major progress on the house. He has been moving along with home renovations (including my long-anticipated hole in the wall between the kitchen and living room, plus a pantry next to the laundry room) at an amazing pace. I am also very impressed with his workmanship. I have been re-organizing, unpacking, re-arranging, and generally cleaning and sorting the rest of the house. The biggest problem encountered so far is realizing that cutting a hole in thw wall allows you to see what is going on in the living room while you are in the kitchen, but also leaves the kitchen open to viewing from the living room. Drat. Have subsequently undertaken major kitchen cabinet reorganization and counter top clearing, along with becoming Nazi about loading dishwasher. I have lots of lovely pictures to post, but no will power to get them off the digital camera and onto the computer.

Am on a mission to find cake. Find cake and then go to sleep, either on the couch or in bed.

la la la la la

I have today off! Hooray! Hooray for homecoming! I love love love love love having a day off every now and then. Especially when it is considered a "holiday" by UF. SWEET.

Okay, I will attempt to control my ecstatic gloating over a beautiful morning at home in my pjs. (How strange that the word "static" is in "ecstatic"...)

I have found a most beautiful link for all those knitters out there who have gauge problems, as I do:

http://www.thedietdiary.com/knittingfiend/OrderForms/conversion%20pages/ConversionPage.html

It seems to be helpful, but all I am knitting right now is a keyboard cover, so it isn't a crucial as if I were knitting, for example, a fisherman knit sweater.

My previous posts still have not posted. WHY?????????

I am dreading going to the will-call box today at two. the line will be INSANE. I'm making Craig go with me, as we are going to Gator Growl with his friends.

Even though I am relishing a day off, the truth is that working is very very good for me. Time flies, and I have little to no spare time or energy left to worry.

Ha ha ha ha- I love monrings where I don't have to shower if I don't want to. Ewwww... i'm going to sew dirty. (I feel like a maniacal 3 year old.) must shower before Craig comes home at noon. Hmmmm.. I'm going to have spaghetti and calamari for breakfast. yummy.