Monday, January 15, 2007

Craig has left for a business trip to Ft. Lauderdale, and I have the day off for Martin Luther King Jr. Day (also known as Robert E Lee Day in some parts of Interlachen). He'll be gone for two days, and that leaves me with a whole day to myself. I used to see these days as an open day for quilting, but lately I have become obsessed with cleaning and organizing the house. I've been trying so hard to stay calm during this period of flux, where i can't even find the kitchen table, but I will admit it has been very difficult. It never used to bother me if the house was messy, now, I'm completely OCD about it. I have been cleaning the crumb tray of the toaster oven, for god's sake. (Keep in mind, this is all relative- other clean freaks would probably still find my house gross).

I am anxious to find out the results of my second ultrasound on Thursday. We'll know for sure whether it is Owen or Bridget, and even though the 12 week ultrasound was pointing pretty conclusively to Owen, I'm almost at a last ditch push for a Bridget. This is all due to the ease of decorating for boy vs girl, of course. I have no control over anything else, so I am very focused on decorating, which I can decide.

What I am more anxious to see, though, is whether the baby is alive and well. I know it seems ridiculous, but I want to see that baby move. I was unclear as to whether I had felt the baby move or not, because so many of my internal organs are pushed all out of the way and squished up- everything feels like gas. There are moments, especially when I am just waking up, or have eaten and am sitting still, that I feel something that must be the baby. A little flip, or what feels like a single heart beat in my lower abdomen, or a tiny pop-thump. Craig was holding me in his arms while I was sleeping one morning, and he swears he felt a flutter. I believe him, and this assertion has been the only thing getting me through the past week. I also know, though, that the baby must be growing, because my ab muscles are stretching again, which means a grwoth spurt is on the way. My belly button is totally stretching out, too. Yesterday, there was a hard ridge at the top, where the skin was streched to what felt like a breaking point. I cocoa buttered the hell out of it, and today it is soft and flexible again, but I think a little shallower.

I have finished the back of the navy blue baby sweater that I'm making, and hope to start on the front tomorrow. Today, I want to finish bedding laundry, clean the guest room, make the beds, and get the house and my quilting room totally spic and span for this weekend- GFSS!!!!!!!

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