Friday, December 09, 2005

Not what I would have expected

Can you tell that I need to go to bed?

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Thursday, December 08, 2005

renewed addictions

My day has been shamefully spent. Well, mostly. I was up and out of bed by 8, to make the most of my day. And people, it was raining. You know how hard it is to get moving when it is raining. So, I called Julie F, and we arranged to have coffee at her house at 11. Yay! I forced myself to do a load of laundry first. Then I somehow got sucked into It is incredible, and made me want to ecaspe to a cold desert island to knit ALL THE TIME. So I searched for patterns to knit the lovely yarn I bought in Savannah. C said not to buy any more yarn until I produce something. Anything. He has a fair point, I hate to admit.

**The thing that drives Craig the craziest is that I knit something, maybe for hours, maybe for days, and then unravel it. I usually drop a stitch, and since I don't know how to fix it, it is just quicker and easier for me to unravel it and start over. For me, knitting is SO much more about the process rather than the product. However, that gives me no good reason to purchase all of the beautiful yarn I feel compelled to bring home with me, so I really have to try and discipline myself to finish projects, even if it is just an effing scarf. But I get so bored with just an effing scarf. (Would I prefer a gee-ing scarf instead? an ay-ching scarf? Please ignore that. I am completely retarded, and should be in bed sleeping. It is still raining. Delicious.)

I ended up not doing anything productive, had a really bad hair day because I chose not to do my hair carefully, and made it to Julie's house on time. (Good job! I am working on my punctuality, and feel the ridiculous need to praise myself for something that most people my age have had mastered for years.) I had a wonderful time with her. I realized that

1) Julie is a kindred spirit, and they are very, very rare in this world.

2) fate is a strange and funny thing.

3) I really really like hawaiian pizza from dominos. Craig was right. Damn!

4) I have an enduring love affair with fiber. Be it woven, mashed into pulp and flattened, or spun, I am a sucker for fiber and what you can do with it.

5) There are artists lurking within us, but my inner artist needs balance. I don't thrive in a space where I can do anything, branch out into any kind of creativity. I need my time to be structured, I need left brain activity to provide a counterpoint to my right brained creativity. I need boundaries to grow, or I am easily overwhemed by possibility.

Not bad for a thursday!

*Note- I am going to do my best to restructure some aspects of my blog, plus try to figure out spell check.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005


am I craving bacon, buttered toast, fried eggs, and chocolate???

all at the same time????


Hooray! Virginia finally posted, but alerted me to the fact that I have not previously allowed anonymous posts on this blog. I have figured out how to change that, so post way, my loyal readers! (I am sure that now my blog will be submerged with posting from my very loyal constituency of five, or two, or whatever.)

Okay, so here is how my interview went.

I left my house an HOUR early. I live 7 miles away. I unwittingly drove through a construction zone on my way over ( 10 miles an hour), then found parking without difficulty, thanks to my father's glorious parking permit. I walked over to McCarty D, getting strange looks all the way- I guess I didn't wear heels and hose too much as a student myself. (Or maybe I had a giant piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe that I didn't notice. Or maybe... whatever. It is over now.) I then became lost, because I couldn't find what I was looking for- an ivy covered wall. I called charlotte to get directions, and she had to send someone down to rescue me.

that wasn't great.

The interview went rather smoothly, once we stopped talking about quilting and started talking about the job. However, I had an incredibly difficult time keeping a straight face. It could have been a scene from "The Office", with a talking head. I don't think that it was because Charlotte was ridiculous, or over the top, or anything like that. It's just that "The Office" does such a great job satirizing actual work situations- I probably seemed like David during interviews, or during firings, when I worked at the shop. I am really eager to be a part of it. There is something nice about a cozy little office , where you go in, do work, and come home. I would love being able to complain about work, look forward to Fridays, have more structure in my life. I would love a paycheck. God, would I love a paycheck. Holy Jesus, I would LOVE a paycheck.

2 more interviews to go.

So what's going to happen with juniper jane? I think that I will keep it up. If I have to , I will send work out, which in some ways is totally ridiculous. Or I'll see what I can squeeze in at night. But there is also something appealing about the idea of sewing for myself, working on projects for pleasure. I have great plans for a fantastic coat. All I need now are the materials and some time. Maybe I could get it done for the first day of work....fingers crossed... or at least I'll wear it to sub.

Time to clean the kitchen, and call Henry an wish him a happy birthday.

Friday, December 02, 2005

two windows

I have had an insane 48 hours. insane. I have been wandering this earth, self/unemployed for six months. nothing great has happened. every cent, and then some, of what juniper jane has brought in has gone right back into my lovely, adorable, moderately popular but bank account draining business. my husband has been patient, I have designed really cute things for babies we don't have. THEN:

I apply to be a substitute teacher in alachua county. my references do not all arrive at their destinations, so I have to wait and send out more applications.

I sign up for a class, and do not complete my first assignment by the self-imposed deadline. bad beginnings.

I wake up thoroughly depressed. So depressed I actually call my husband at work to complain. I wear my ugliest clothing, but at least I shower.

i do the first half of my homework.

Craig comes home to cook me soup for lunch, and hands me a letter. it is the alachua county school board, telling me to come in for sub orientation. hooray! thank you, references!!!!

I am eating soup, reading the letter over and over, when the phone rings. It is the principal of an elementary school where my two best teacher friends- the julies- are teaching fourth grade together. she offers me a long term sub job on the spot to teach 4th grade with the julies. i love how putnam county sems to have unlimited, sight-unseen-someone said good things about you- faith in me.

i am floored.

i go to the school, start planning lessons on the way home, and then sit down, do some math, and realize that i can't afford to teach 4th grade for $9.67 an hour, in another county that is 35 minutes away.

i am sad.

i think and think and think, then resign myself to it.

i go to bed, then get up early and go to Mary's classroom to help out. WHAT FUN! i see how great it could be, to teach elementary school. the kids are ten thousand times sweeter, and they really care what you say and think. they want to be good.

i come home, take an deep breath, and then turn down the position at melrose. i promptly freak out. WHY DID I TURN DOWN A JOB????????

i eat lunch, then go to get fingerprinted. the machine is down. i promise to come back after orientation on monday, then do a good deed and go to the social security office to get my named changed.

i guess it was time.

i wait. i wait. i wait.

the phone rings. it is one of my former quilting students- does she want a private lesson?

no- she wants to interview me for a job i applied for months ago!!!!!! at uf!!!!!!! making twice as much as subbing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

am i interested?

yes, please.

i have an interview tuesday, and even if that doesn't work out, i will start subbing.

meaghan is moving into the world of the wage earners.