la la la la la

I have today off! Hooray! Hooray for homecoming! I love love love love love having a day off every now and then. Especially when it is considered a "holiday" by UF. SWEET.

Okay, I will attempt to control my ecstatic gloating over a beautiful morning at home in my pjs. (How strange that the word "static" is in "ecstatic"...)

I have found a most beautiful link for all those knitters out there who have gauge problems, as I do:

http://www.thedietdiary.com/knittingfiend/OrderForms/conversion%20pages/ConversionPage.html

It seems to be helpful, but all I am knitting right now is a keyboard cover, so it isn't a crucial as if I were knitting, for example, a fisherman knit sweater.

My previous posts still have not posted. WHY?????????

I am dreading going to the will-call box today at two. the line will be INSANE. I'm making Craig go with me, as we are going to Gator Growl with his friends.

Even though I am relishing a day off, the truth is that working is very very good for me. Time flies, and I have little to no spare time or energy left to worry.

Ha ha ha ha- I love monrings where I don't have to shower if I don't want to. Ewwww... i'm going to sew dirty. (I feel like a maniacal 3 year old.) must shower before Craig comes home at noon. Hmmmm.. I'm going to have spaghetti and calamari for breakfast. yummy.

grrrrrrrrrr

Okay- so I have republished MULTIPLE times, and my second post of last night and my revisions to previous posts are not there.

grrrrrrrr.

I can't sleep (cramps!), and can't decide if it is worth it to try and go back to bed, or stay up for the long haul. I have to go to Wallis's bridal shower today, and I just realized that it's themed, and my gift is supposed to start with an "M",as is my piece of advice to her. Oops. I got her a bowl and a doggie- treat jar (both from her registry). Crap. I'll have to come up with something cute to say. I have also decided, while in the gift bag aisle at Target, that I will no longer buy wedding, etc. gifts that are not either soft (towels, blankets, etc.) or pre-packaged. These two very heavy ceramic gifts will not truly make it safely into a gift bag, but I will valiently try.

We watched the first disc of season 2 of The Office (American Version). It is much more sanitized, less painfully embarrassing than the British version. I feel less guilty watching it, but still like the original best.

We also attended the Gator game against Alabama yesterday. It is truly a totally guilty pleasure that I love going to the games. (All my girlfriends are cringing right now, but alas, ladies, it is true.) [Junie just discovered that I'm awake, and is overjoyed with the thought that she might get breakfast 2 hours early. In her anticipation, she has left tongue marks all over the computer.] I love the excitement of being in a crowd of 90,000+ people, who are all cheering for the same thing. I love how friendly (albeit totally trashed) all the tailgaters are, and I loke how small town it makes Gainesville feel. It's funny, because when I was in college, I hated football games, and the way campus and the entire town was completely taken over. Eventually I sucumbed to the "if you can't beat 'em" mentality. Working on campus really contributes to my love of Gator sports. When you see players in a normal environment (Chick-fil-a, etc.), it is shocking how young (!) they are, and you have to respect the amazing talent they have and the pressures that they have to withstand.

groan graon groan groan groan.

my period is going to totally kick my ass this month.


hmmm... 5 am..... maybe I'll go sew???? Junie has realized she isn't going to get breakfast, and has gone back to bed to sleep with Craig.

goal: 2 table runners, 1 table square form the pumpkin jacquard I bought at Joann's on Friday. I am training Craig to believe that money spent on projects that actually get finished doesn't count.

???

Was just re-reading blogs- does anyone know why I resolved not to get pregnant this year?

ta da!

So I could spend hours catching people up on what's been going on since I last posted, but I'll just do a quick bulleted list and then jump right in.

• The inter-office easter egg hunts were FANTASTIC. (As it is now officially 9/30/06, I must say that one of my co-workers found an egg YESTERDAY. I'll go easier on them next year)
• As we were preparing the first ever annual Gulledge Easter Eve Peep Roast in Bradenton (Rebel had the washing machine tub on cinder blocks hot and ready to go, (without pressure-treated wood, in the fire, I am grateful to relate)) my mother called with news that my grandfather had died suddenly. I was so angry (and now I feel guilty and selfish for feeling angry and resentful and a toatl bitch for admitting this), because I had been focusing all my energies on the Gulledge side of the family, and Pa was perfectly healthy. He just dropped dead of a sudden heart attack. I still feel his loss every single day. I let Henry book our flights out to Wyoming, which involved traveling for over 22 hours each way, and sleeping in an airport on the way out. ALWAYS rent a hotel, even for a 6 hour middle of the night layover. Sleeping on the ground in a terminal- not cool. However, even though the circumstances were less than ideal, we had a very fun brother-sister-road-trip-by-air experience. The little bit of my grandfather that remains resides in my underwear drawer. I know this seems sacreligous to some people (and strangley perverted to others) but ever since I was a little girl the underwear drawer has seems sacred to me- like the most private place in the house. I think this originated from the belief that if I had $5 (a great sum to an elementary schooler in 1988) and I hid it in my underwear drawer, robbers would be too embarrased my by Hello Kitty panties to delve further, and would turn away from delicacy. Even though my blue house was broken into and nothing BUT my underwear was stolen, I admit that the "underwear drawer as sacred private place" mentality has remained. Plus, I had to put him somewhere, and Craig was tired of having lunch with him while I left him on the kitchen table. I know I sound flippant, but I am comforted to have him so near. Okay flippant is not the word- morbid is.
  
• Craig has completed the patio addition he started in May (pictures will have to follow for all that I am talking about). It is amazing, and he did a great job planning it. I can't wait to turn it into a Better Homes and Gardens Spread. (Yeah right- l'm not holding my breath)
• We have a pumpkin growing. The pumpkin patch was the size of 2 minivans, and was overtaking the back half of the yard, but while spraying the leaves with soapy water to get rid of the bigs (not as recommended in our Organic Vegetable Gardening class) he killed all the leaves, and we have only one pumpkin. I am convinced, however, that it will become the biggest pumpkin ever if we put a wick into it and a bowl of sugar water.
• We went to NYC for Haley's wedding, and had an absolutely fantabulous time. I loved it, but was ready to come home. Flying is much easier after I discovered that they sell alcohol on planes.
• I have started selling for a direct sales company, and really hate it. I have to get out, but earning $70 here and there make it hard to give it up. I just don't give it much time.
• I have finished two projects tonight: the real reason this post is called "ta da"! My orange sleeveless sweater, purchased with yarn bought at Wild Fibre in Savannah (probably my all time favorite yarn store ever) is finished, although I am not really pleased with my finishing techniques and will have to get used to the length. It is shorter than I thought it would be, which I hope will come into style soon?!?!?!?, but overall I am pleased with it. I am pretty darn sure I will wear, though I dread people asking me if I made it myself. My goal is to have people aske where I purchased something that I made. (The difference between homemade and handmade is something I am very concious of). I also finished my halter top, which I started on Monday!!!! I will wear it to the game tomorrow, and am pleased and surprised that of all thing, football season has motivated me to be crafty and "complete". Crazy

Okay- one of the reasons I don't blog is that I always end up on the computer until 1 in the morning. This silly thing needs to rebuilt soon, as Craig keeps reminding me and the compaq reminds me as well with frequent crashes.

Currently Reading:

• Nectar in a Sieve (one chapter left to go- it's crap)
• The French Leutenient's Woman by John Knowles (?) (BOT)- engrossing at times, makes me want to reread Tennyson, which I'm not even sure I properly read in college. Too self-reflexive to be really enjoyable and escapist
• Love in the Time of Cholera- again. I love it. I must say that having read it as a married woman, it reads much differently than the first few times. At one point, The Narrator points out that Fermina and the doctor can survive what adultory does to their marriage, but are almost ripped apart by the small annoyances of marriage- waking each other up in the morning, not replacing the soap in the bathroom. Amen to that.
  

Cream Eggs and the Great Pumpkin

No more news on Carolyn that is necessarily encouraging. She is at home now, waiting for her biopsy results. Robyn said that the plan is to treat it aggressively, which surprised me. I would have thought that Hospice was going to be the solution, but I have a grudging admiration for her willingness to fight such a hopeless battle. I doubt that I would be that strong.

I have been so tired today, so absolutely overwhelmed by the routine of daily living. Other people seem so resigned to the endless cycle of cooking, eating, cleaning, just to go to bed and do it all over again. I know that I should be grateful to be a part of this, but I am still perplexed. Is this what I am supposed to do?

We did, however, come up with a fun Easter plan for our coworkers. I had jokingly told Craig that we were having an Easter Egg Hunt at the office on Friday, and then we decided that an Easter Egg Hunt is just what everyone needs. So we went to Publix and bought an basket full of Easter candy, and I have spent the evening stuffing eggs. We are going to sneak into the office after hours tomorrow and hide them. I heart easter eggs! I am, however, over full size cadbury cream eggs. I love the mini ones- they are just right. The big ones, however, are just too much for me to handle. I got a cup of coffee and relived my first coffee/cadbury cream egg experience (8th grade year book trip to Birmingham, Alabama- Elizabeth Batich, roller skating, dress up and Beck's new Loser CD- or was it a cassette? I don't even remember). It wasn't the same.

Craig's Easter Comment (aka why I have to raise my kids Catholic):
"On Easter Sunday Jesus will rise again! "

Criag is the only person who gets Jesus and the Great Pumpkin confused. (Then again, Jesus doesn't really rise again, right? Or not until the second coming... which I can never say with a straight face. Extremely childish, I know. But it still makes me snicker.) Not only am I going to hell, apparently I'm going to have to ask for directions.

What I'm reading: If You Could See Me Now, by Celia Ahern. 2 stars, listening to it on tape during housework. At the gym, I 'm listening to Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination, by Helen Fielding. 3 stars, 2nd listening.

thick air

Craig's grandmother is sick. Very sick. When I came home from GFSS Tampa on Sunday, he told me that they found cancer in her lung, and in her liver. She had a double masectomy when we were freshmen in college, but now I learn that the cancer has come back- in her breasts, in her bones, in her brain.

I am frustrated and feeling lost, becuase I do not know how to help my husband deal with the grief that he doesn't even know he is going to feel. How is Rebel going to deal with this? How is Robert going to survive without Carolyn? There is talk of treatment, but I honestly can't see how chemotheraphy and the accompanying discomfort and pain would be worth a few extra months. That may be heartless, but if I learned anything from my grandfather's illness, it is that we have to let people go- you can not live forever, nor would you want to.

Roy is not doing well either, and the thick pain that is hanging over the Gulledge family like a cloud is suffocating. I feel like the sky is about to open up on us all, and I can see the storm coming, I feel it raise the hairs on the back of my neck, but I am helpless to prevent it, and helpless to protect the family I have grown to love as an extension of my own.

resolutions and a mini-update

1. stop smoking
   

(Fantastic progress already, especially considering that I don't smoke. But I always like to start off a list with something that I can cross off, like "make a list". It makes the rest of the list seems more achievable.)

2. be on time

(I am listening to "The Girl's Guide to Hunting and Fishing", in which an old man tells his young(er) lover that she shouldn't be late, it makes people feel like they can't depend on you. I have already been late to my father's birthday dinner yesterday, which was unfathomably held at one o'clock. Then I found out it was held just after breakfast so my brother's girlfriend could get home before dark. Therefore, I have not only already broken my own resolution, but possibly other people's as well.)

3. be groomed

(Actually just a thinly veiled excuse to let loose my inner sorority girl with a credit card, maintaining my acrylic nails, eyebrows, closet, shoe fetish, etc.)

4. NOT GET PREGNANT (this year)

5. be gainfully employed all year long. Same job would be nice, but is not neccessarily a requirement.

(Actually, I have this strange desire to work in one job for five years (gasp!). It would make me feel more like an adult).

6. do less more better

(Who am I kidding? I always resolve to do less things, but do those things that I do better. I resolve this on a daily basis.)

7. say no more often

8. do more nice things for Craig

(Again, a resolution we've seen before, my friends.)


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Mini- Update

I have a job (hooray!) working in personnel. That's all I can say online, or they'd have to kill me. I worked one week, then had a week and a day off, and I go back tomorrow. My marriage is WONDERFUL now that I'm working again, and stress levels are down. However, I totally forgot how on earth people work all day and then get anything done at night. It is mind boggling.