Saturday, November 14, 2009

Why I put up with Vinegar-as-Gift

you know those giant novelty martini glasses you can get at wal-mart, on an end cap in the craft section? no? well, they are giant, and I need one RIGHT NOW. FILLED WITH VODKA. maybe a little ice, or a splash of limeade and a jar of maraschino cherries.

As my mom used to tell me, i need to to "take a chill pill". Which should have been an indication that, even at age 8, i was wound a little too tight. What I did not know in third grade was that there are, indeed, real life "chill pills". They are called anti-depressants. And I am beginning to think I may want some.

Why, you may ask?

I have begun jumping to the-worst-possible-scenario conclusions. As in, I have a strange, under the skin knot on my forearm. I first noticed this knot last Sunday, after our return from Silver Springs. Since then, the knot has progressed from:
possible spider bite
slowly unraveling tendon, requiring surgery (thank you, Amanda, for setting me straight on that one)
horrible parasite picked up in the petting zoo which has laid its eggs under my skin and may begin to eat me from the inside, or conversely, will explode in a swarm from my skin like an alien giving birth to a microscopic army of tiny organisms which will eat my family alive like piranha fleas
blood clot, caused my forcing my too-tight wedding rings back on my ring finger, amplified by bloating that could or could not be pre-menstrual (which is also, about all i need right now)

Craig maintains that it is spider bite. He made me hot cocoa with whipped cream, and applied hydro-cortisone cream to my arm.


Sleep Goblin said...

sounds more like you need anti-anxiety pills to me. or some sleep. :P

i've had both anti-depressants and anti-anxiety pills, and if you can get by without them, try.

1. anti-depressants are almost all addictive and cause weight gain.
2. anti-anxiety pills are highly addictive.

i still keep the a-a pills just in case i have a panic attack, but i've managed to make my way without the a-d for quite a while now. it requires a lot of breathing and learning to let go.

though, to be honest, it took some time on the a-d's to get myself to the point where i could think straight enough to start learning to live without them.

you know what? ignore me. i'm rambling.

kimberlina said...

i'm not even going to entertain bad thoughts about your little swollen knot - i'm sure it's a spider bite. they can be horrific! though, if it gets worse, you should see a doctor and they can lance it, if needed.

my brother has a huge knot on his hand, too, but doesn't have insurance. he really needs to get it checked out. :p